Ridiculous Lolita Trend Predictions Vol. 2

A couple summers ago I made a blog post making some pretty ridiculous Lolita trend predictions, it's always been a favorite post of mine and one I've meant to revisit for some time now! So the basic premise of this series is, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the first one, that Lolita has some pretty weird trends to begin with. Our preferred faux-fur print is baby deer spots, we wear tea cups on our heads, pair skeleton tights with super sweet dresses, and carry around purses that look like pancake mix boxes. So what sort of trends might be a little bit too weird for Lolita? Or alternatively, are just weird enough to work. This volume of ridiculous trend predictions imagines what could be popular in the upcoming fashion seasons!

 

Classic Lolita Armor

I can imagine Juliette et Justine starting this trend! It starts with one of their off-the wall photoshoots that, oddly enough, features real metal shoulder and arm armor paired with one of their elegant classic dresses. Soon Lolitas everywhere want to emulate this trend and are willing to drop several hundred dollars on metal armor pauldrons to vambraces (hey, it's probably not much more than the secondhand value of their JeJ painting skirts!) Thriftier Lolitas discover the famous craft foam armor tutorial that cosplayers have been familiar with for years and make their own. "Casual Armor Lolita" pops up when people don't want to go the whole nine yards and just wear pauldrons instead of the whole shebang. Arguments break out everywhere when people think that it looks too much like a costume, of course.

Bondage Pants-style Garter Belts

With the Pastel Goth trend looming above us like a big hip pastel shadow, the pastel colored bondage accoutrements are taken to the next level with bondage pants-styled garter belt systems. All the hassle of getting things stuck in the straps of your pants, without actually having to wear pants! A major shortage of sock glue, vital to holding up the garters attached to the straps, eventually causes the trend to die out. Angelic Pretty tries to revive the trend by releasing a pair of bloomers with attached bondage straps and garter belts, but Lolitas getting chairs caught in them and causing massive damage at tea houses across the world keeps the trend largely confined to photo shoots.

Brand Released Candy Jewelry

Remember when brands were tricking us into paying $30 for hair scrunchies? Well you're going to love their new line of $50 candy jewelry! Cute candy necklaces with big sugary (and completely edible!) hearts stamped with brand names, and giant ring-pops on gold plated bases pop up in various brand shops. Lolitas will go crazy for them and end up staining the collars of their blouses with half-eaten candy necklaces and getting ring-pops stuck in their wigs. The trend will only last as long as people can resist eating the jewelry, but for years afterwards, super rare un-eaten sets will sell for hundreds and there will be posts by eager newbies letting people know they think they saw Angelic Pretty candy necklaces sold at their local gas station, and post pictures asking more experienced Lolitas to identify which candy necklace release it was, but are disappointed to find it's not the real deal, but a regular old replica candy necklace.

Crazy Cat Lady Lolita

With all the releases of cat themed Lolita prints and accessories, soon Crazy Cat Lady Lolita is born, and real cats are brought into the mix. BYOC (bring your own cat!) meetups are held, causing much debate among the communities ranging from "Is it right to force Lolita upon your cat?" "Is it fair to exclude people who are allergic to cats from meetups?", as well as many partially shredded cat prints to pop up on the secondhand sales communities because, yeah, maybe it was a bad idea to get a bunch of strange cats in the same room as expensive Lolita dresses.

Wigs Made Completely From Flowers

While last time I predicted a wig overload trend, this time I predict something a little different. As Lolitas, we're all getting a bit tired of the wig trend, and try to find new ways to decorate our heads without using wigs. Combine this with the resurgence in Classic Lolita, and a need to cover more and more of your head with rose corsages just goes full-circle and soon flower wigs are born. Styled a little bit after the powdered wigs of the past, but made completely out of fake flowers in the perfect color to match your dress! Sweet Lolitas everywhere exclaim "And you said our wigs looked bad?!"

Terrarium Headdresses

I could see this coming from a brand like Victorian Maiden, who actually has an often forgotten about home goods section (ages ago, they actually sold a coffin on it!). I predict that they would originally offer cute little terrariums in their home goods section, but find the stock was just sitting on shelves. So what do they do? Glue them to headbands and decorate with roses, of course! Since this is such an easy DIY project, Lolitas all over make their own versions and Victorian Maiden, unfortunately, hardly sells any, despite the fact that every single Lolita is wearing their own within a week of them hitting the stores!

So what do you think of this particular lineup of ridiculous trends? More or less possible than the first batch of them? Personally, I can actually see a few of these happening! Terrarium headdresses don't seem so far out there, and the shoulder armor seems sort of awesome to me.

What sort of trends do you think are ridiculous enough that you want to root for them to become the next big thing? These sorts of posts are so fun, because it seems like even the most ridiculous thing you can think up can totally work! I would love to hear about your ideas on what you think the next big ridiculous trend could be, either in the comments, or in blog posts of your own!